S.E.K.E.T.A.R.Y By: Gimbiya Galadima

You had an application to submit on Monday morning. People say that even if the time slated is 10.00am, be there by 6.30am.You never can tell the size of the multitude of people waiting. You woke up at 4.30am, had a hurried shower and did your makeup.

When it was 6:00am you were fully dressed and made up because you could not afford to go there looking like someone who came to audition for the role of a maid in a Nollywood movie. It was 6:32 when you got to the office and sat down.

You were happy because there was just a small queue of people there so there was hope. You took a number, number 17.

You heard that registration started by 8.00am so you had to wait for the secretary. You sat down till your legs felt heavy and you had to stand up again.

You listened to the songs of the worms in your stomach until 8:37am, when a lady with a bag big enough to carry a baby came in and took a seat.

The manner in which everyone started lining up gave away the fact that she was the secretary. She popped gum and asked each person to fill in their details in the long notebook on the table.

She asked everyone to wait till 10.00am for their biostatistics form. It was 9:56am when you noticed her bring out a food flask. You had not had breakfast but the smell of rice and stew pervaded the office and punished you more. It was 10:47 and she was still eating.

This was because she had to answer about five calls during her meal but the guy that travelled that morning for the application could not relate to that. He didn't have all day, he fumed. He went to her explaining that
he had to be in Warri in the next two hours and before you knew it, an altercation had occurred.

She promised to make him spend more time
than he would ordinarily have spent and warned every one else to wait for her to finish eating. You could not tell her that it was wrong to eat during official hours except during the lunch break. You could not try to reason with her as you were tired.

You started filling your form by 12.00am and rounded up your application by 2.00pm. Thank God you were done and you were never ever in your life going to see that mango shaped head woman again. Ah!!!Seketary!!! Wahala re o ti poju.

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